Memories, Forgotten and Unwanted.
by Lil Miss Giggles
Summary: When Angelus turns a priest, he has to face the consequences when he is haunted by his past.
1.

Old Memories, Forgotten and Unwanted.  
  
Title - see above  
Rating - R  
Ownership - Joss is God as far as the characters of BtVs are concerned.  
Distribution - Read (and review!), like, take, have - ask first.  
Feedback - much appreciated. ^_^  
A/N - ** = How sweet and proper it is.  
  
There was a panic, and feet scuffed the floor as the human made his escape and bolted for the door to his home. The vampire allowed him a brief moment of pure relief as he reached the door and hurriedly fumbled for his keys. Eyebrows raised, Angelus held up his hand, his lips curving upwards into a wicked smile,  
"Looking for these?"  
Tony whirled around and stared in horror at the object in the demon's hand. So far, the vampire had refrained from using his fangs to scare this particular victim. He wanted to have a little fun first. Shaking the keys in his hand so they jingled a little, he flipped his knife in the air and caught it with his teeth. It was still bloodstained from the where he'd sliced open the man's arm.   
Hoping his attacker would have mercy on a man of the church, Tony pulled slightly at his dog-collar and whispered prayers of help and mercy to God. Removing the knife from his mouth, Angelus made a show of licking both sides clean, then threw it into the nearest tree, where he left it,  
"Prayers won't save you now, Father."  
Angelus laughed sinisterly as he allowed his true vampiric nature to claim his face. Terrified, the priest stared at him for a moment, then on seeing the fangs as the creature approached him, he tore the crucifix from his neck and held it before him in an attempt to ward him off.  
The vampire faltered, and looked at the silver object with more than a little distaste. He snarled and glared at the man as his expression of horror turned to that of triumph. He wasn't going to get away that easily. He still had his house keys.  
His confidence increasing with the holy emblum in his grasp, Tony stepped towards the vampire and relished every moment as Angelus stepped back, apparently scared of the crucifix. Then, without warning, he stepped forward and batted the priest's arm away, knocking the cross from his hand. Instinctively looking to see where the cross had fallen, the man turned his head, giving the demon easy access to his neck. Seizing the holy man by the throat, Angelus pushed him back against the door of his house, fangs bared,  
"Try that again, and I'll see to it that you don't reach the afterlife with your entrails intact, *Father*"  
He emphasised the last word, his voice dripping with malice and contempt. Ignoring what his every fear was screaming at him, the man clenched his teeth and looked the monster right in the eye,  
"You can have my entrails and my life, but you can never take my soul from me."  
He watched as the creature's eyes narrowed and he appeared deep in thought. Then as though snapping out of a trance, is eyes suddenly widened and Angelus raised an eyebrow,  
"Entrails, I'd take anyway - Dru likes me to save her the heart. Your life? Well, you'd die sooner or later so why not now? But your soul ... that's a completely different matter."  
Tightening his grip on the mortal's throat, he began to drag him towards the cemetery,  
"Y'see, death works in different ways." He kicked Tony's knees, knocking him off his feet and causing him to kick like a trapped child as he was dragged across the road.  
"You can die of, say, old age ... or a disease. Completely natural causes. Then, you'll agree, your soul goes to where-ever. Purgatory, Heaven and , hey, if you're lucky, maybe you'll go to Hell. Great place, you really should take a day off - y'know, go see the sights." His tone was cheerful, almost friendly as he explained what happens to your soul after death,  
"Then, you might be killed. Murder, for example. Still, your soul goes someplace." He laughed sofly as the holy man ceased kicking and attempted to free himself by clawing at Angelus' hand.  
"Or, you could commit suicide - I don't recommend it, you'd lose your soul. Not a good idea for a man of your standards."  
"Let me go!"  
Angelus shook his head,  
"Not that easy, I'm afraid ... anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, or..." He kicked open the door to the mausoleum and opened the gate to the Master's no longer abandoned lair, "Or, you could die like I did. Like *all* these kids did."   
At that last remark his released the priest, helped him to his feet, and indicated the pack of vampires that was closing in on him. At a glance from their senior, they began to back off. Angelus wanted this one himself. Tony gazed, wide-eyed around hat the vampires, most of them killed in their late teens. He had lost all fear now, and looked at the vampire who had brought him here. He watched, almost fascinated as Angelus returned to his human form and smiled, almost benevolently.  
"I've seen what you brought me to see. Now let me go."  
"Uh ... let me think about that for a second .................. no."  
"Why do you want me here?"  
He shrugged,  
"Why do I ever want a human near me? Food, general amusement ... new recruits etc etc etc."  
"All three of those couldn't apply to me."  
"No, I'd make a safe guess and go for the last one."  
"Why make me a vampire? I have nothing to offer you. No skills in combat. I'm not a brave person."  
"Shucks, I hadn't noticed."  
"Then tell me. Why?"  
Dropping the act, Angelus grabbed him by the dog-collar, and pulled him closer,  
"Let's see, you said - and I quote, 'You can have my entrails and my life, but you can never take my soul from me.' Does that sound familiar?"  
"Yes."  
"Just want to prove a point. Y'see, when you become a vampire, it isn't you who gets the gift of eternal life. I'm not that generous. Your body is vacated and a new-born demon sets up camp in your hollow corpse. It has all your memories, but it isn't you. No compassion, no remorse, no humanities. Full. Stop. The end of your insignificant life. Your soul is destroyed, making way for a brand new baby vamp."  
"Y - you can't do this to me."  
"Watch me."  
Pulling the human closer, he gave in to the bloodlust, his eyes shining golden and his fangs hovering a hair's breadth away from the man throat. He grinned wickedly and slowly sank his teeth into his latest victim, savouring the taste before he had to pull away. Withdrawing his fangs from Tony's neck, he sank them into his own wrist, tearing the flesh and giving way to the blood that poured out. Pressing it to the dying priest's lips, Angelus winced slightly as Tony latched on, his tongue lapping up the blood that ran freely into his mouth, giving him a new life to replace his old, fading one.  
Revelling in the fact that he had just turned a priest, Angelus pulled his wrist away, and slowly lay his Childe down as his human eyes closed for the last time. The vampire looked down at his unconscious new-born then glanced around at the rest of his gathered coven. They were stunned. He had turned a holy man.  
Relishing their astonishment, a sinister smile made its way across his lips as he whispered,  
"Dulce et decorum est**" 


	2. 

  
Memories, Forgotten and Unwanted. - Part Two  
  
A/N - ~~ **~~ indicates Angelus' flashbacks and dreams  
  
Abandoning the body of his Childe, Angelus ploughed through the crowd of vampires to his 'bedroom'. It was no more than a heavy curtain separating it from the rest of the lair, but it sufficed. He stopped outside the curtain, he could see Drusilla's outline against it.  
"Where's Daddy's little girl?"  
She drew the curtain aside,  
"You turned a holy man. Naughty Daddy."  
She was smiling slightly, but the look in her eyes told him she wasn't entirely impressed. His lips curved upwards into a seductive smile and she raised her eyebrows, shaking her head in refusal. He sauntered past her and lay on his back on the bed. It was almost dawn and he could already feel Sleep numbing his mind. She sat down next to him, not yet affected by the approaching light, and placed a hand over his eyes. He smiled and closed them, feeling her soft, pale fingers rubbing small circles on his forehead. She was soothing him, it always managed to send him to sleep like this.  
Satisfied that her Sire was alseep, Dru placed her head on his chest, and joined him in slumber.  
  
~~**~~  
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been 3 days since my last confession."  
Angelus stood at the tall archway that lead to the confession boothe. Lazily, he leant against the stone walls and rubbed his hand down it, caressing the fine masonry work. For a second he wondered how long it had taken to construct this building. He didn't care. He heard the voices in the nearest confession booth exchange their farewells and he slowly pulled himself to his feet. A girl emerged from her side of the booth and gave him a fleeting glance as she left. Turning his head slightly, he watched out of the corner of his eye as she stopped at the doors and looked back at him. She was crying. Amused by this sight, he smiled and made his way to his own confession.  
The priest sighed and lay back in his seat as what he hoped would be the last civilian came to him for forgiveness.   
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been over a century since my last confession."  
Father O'brien peered through the wooden partition. The man was young, dark eyes and a thoughtfull expression. He couldn't have been older than twenty five. Slightly thrown, he asked the boy what sins he had commited.   
"Sins? How long have you got?"  
"As long as it takes for you to lift the burden from your shoulders, son."  
His tone was practically cheerful as he reeled off a long list of unconsciable crimes. Inside his part of the booth, Angelus cast his eyes to the ceiling and grinned while Father O'brien tried to 'console' him. He grew impatient.  
The Father sat facing the partition, continuing his consolidation and hoping the youth would take heed of his words. His door swung open, and the church lights flooded the booth. They were quiet dim, but enough to sting his eyes and cause him to screw them shut.  
"I'd forgotten just how boring church really was." Angelus seized the man by his robes and hauled him out of the booth, "No wonder I never went."  
He stood the mortal on his feet and stepped back, watching with vague amusement as he began to recite something in latin.  
"And He shall smite the Wicked and send them to a fiery death."  
"Latin, y'gotta love it."  
"They shall exist forever in torment and agony."  
The vampire made a show of yawning and looking towards his wrist for a watch that wasn't there. He looked back at the priest,  
"Finished?"  
"He shall cleanse the pure an--"  
Impatient, Angelus regained his grip on the holy man's clothes and lifted him off his feet,  
"That was more of a statement than a question."  
He flashed him his most flattering smile and it broadened as his forehead morphed into a series of pronounced ridges and his teeth enlongated. Running his tongue over his fangs, Angelus looked the man up and down.   
"You wouldn't shed blood inside a church."  
He pulled the man closer and smiled sinisterly,  
"I was thinking more along the lines of drinking it, actually."  
After snapping playfully at his ear, Angelus pushed Father O-brien's head to one side, his neck in point-blank range of his fangs. Ignoring the gasp of fear and the cries of pain, he slowly sank his fangs into the flesh and lost himself to the hunger as the blood ran freely into his all to eager mouth. He drained the priest of every drop of blood he owned, holding the body closer and almost crushing the ribs as if to squeeze more out of it. The blood was pure and untainted, almost as good as the maiden he'd started the evening with. The bloodlust still occupying his mind, he savagely tore at the flesh and licked the wound in a vain attempt to satisfy his hunger. There was nothing left.   
His vampiric nature retreating to the depths of his mind, his human face returned and he released the body, letting it fall in a crumpled heap on one of the church benches.  
Making his way back through the church, he stopped infront of the altar. Turning to face the life-size crucifix that hung above it, he wiped his chin clean and licked his hand,  
"I'd love to stay for breakfast, but I promised the kids I'd be home before dawn." Turning to go out, he called over his shoulder, "By the way, the priest's a great guy."  
Licking his lips contentedly, he sauntered towards the door. Then he stopped, a breeze made its way through the doors, wrapped itself around him and stirred the robes of the dead Father O'brien. It blew out the all candles except the one on the altar and continued its journey out of an open window. Angelus spun around on his heel, all senses heightened. He watched, fascinated as the flame of the one remaining candle appeared to dance, creating flickering patterns on the cloth that covered the marble top of the altar. Ignoring his returning hunger, he slowly moved towards it as if in a trance. It ceased its dance and disppeared, almost as though it had been blown out. He stared long and hard at the candle, trying to figure out what was happening. Then he looked up at the crucifix. The figure of Christ was about the same height as himself and the blood seemed almost real as it apparently dripped from the statue's wounds. Staring harder at the figure, Angelus froze. Its chest was moving. It was breathing. Blood from, what seemed to be fresh wounds, flowed down his arms and legs, forming a growing pool where it hit the floor.  
Transfixed with a sudden terror, the vampire could do nothing but stare as Christ appeared to remove himself from the cross and descend towards him.  
Feeling his limbs resume their functions, Angelus turned and ran, his mind suddenly filled with emotions he'd discarded the night he met Darla. The tumult of his mind was too great, he ran blind through the streets, barely conscious of the mere mortals that gazed after him as he fled, tears streaming down his face.  
~~**~~  
  
His brow furrowing slightly as he slept, Angelus snarled softly, beads of sweat decorating his forehead as he clenched he teeth so tightly it would have hurt if he was awake. Sitting up, Drusilla looked down at him. She left quietly, knowing better than to be in the same room as her Sire after he woke from a bad dream.   
  
~*~TBC~*~  



	3. 

Memories, Forgotten and Unwanted - Part Three  
  
A/N - the flashbacks are all supposed to be set before Drusilla was made. Angelus has only two Childer (Penn and Charlotte, Charlotte is only 14 - well, her body is anyway) and Darla is away, exploring Europe. Please R&R.  
  
~~**~~  
Being the eldest, Penn felt it his responsibility to look after Charlotte whilst Angelus was away. If anything happened to her, his Sire would beat the living daylights out of him. Out of the only two Childer Angelus had, she was the favourite. Penn sat beside the fire, watching her devour the human heart he'd saved for her from his hunt. It was still warm. The room was relatively quiet, excluding Charlotte's soft growls as she fed.  
The whole mansion seemed to shake as Angelus slammed the thick mahogany door behind him, locked it and stormed up the stairs, locking every window and outer doors as he went. Both vampires stood as he entered the room and looked at them. It was hard to tell whether he was fuming or terrified. Penn rather hoped it was the first. Nothing could ever move his Sire to be even vaguely apprehensive, nevermind terrified. The elder vampire stared at them hard for a moment, then he froze. His eyes darted across the room as though he thought something had followed him home. Charlotte began to whimper and his attention was immediately turned to his Childer. Suddenly gripped by a brand new fear, he stood ramrod straight and looked Penn in the eye. The younger vampire panicked. He could think of nothing that could scare his sire this way and if it had, well, he couldn't bare thinking of the impact it would have on them. Angelus turned, bolted the door and closed the windows, his mind evolving round the safety of Penn and Charlotte. He seized Charlotte by the waist and hefted her over his shoulder, grabbing Penn by the wrist and took them both to his room. Window downstairs was locked, nothing could get in and he made sure no-one could get in upstairs either. Literally throwing the boy onto the bed, he seated the girl next to him and set about locking all the windows and blocking the gap under the door with discarded shirts. Suddenly realising they had been watching his every terrfied move, Angelus turned away from them, glaring at the wall,  
"Don't look at me."  
His voice was low, a soft, warning snarl following every word. He was ashamed. The emotions that caused his fear to arise so rapidly weer disappearing almost as quickly as they came and he was returning to his former mentality. Charlotte slowly climbed off the bed, she appeared to be no more than 14 and her bare feet made little to no sound on the wooden floor. She padded over to him and gently took his hand in hers. He didn't stop her but every muscle in his body tensed with frustration and Penn feared he would lash out. She looked up at his face. His demon had claimed it as his anger with himself grew and her eyes widened,  
"Angelus?"  
He clenched his teeth. He wanted to hit something. The thought of hitting his beloved Charlottle had crossed his mind, but she wouldn't understand. She was frozen at the age of 14. Due to the torments he'd subjected her to, she would probably never grow up. He squeezed her hand gently to let her know he was alright, then left the room, kicking the door down instead of unlocking it.  
~~**~~  
  
The vampire's eyes snapped open, his past renewing his shame.  
He had been afraid of that damn apparition.  
He. Angelus.  
Time and time again the scourge of Europe, and he'd been afraid of a godforsaken illusion.  
A hallucination.  
Lifting his hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead, he realised Drusilla had gone. He glanced at his watch. Midnight. Dinner-time. 


End file.
